Tag Archives: marriage

Nov5

The Thirty Before Thirty List by Tasneem Abdur-Rashid

Posted on November 5, 2024 by islamicschoollibrarian

This is the second book I’ve read by the author and while I didn’t do a full review of the first (Finding Mr Perfectly Fine), I am going to do a full review of this one, because the book might not be “halal, halal” or intentionally Islam centered, but with a robust Muslim cast it stays impressively clean and there is a lot of Islam present. I’m glad I bought a physical copy so my nieces or my daughter can pick it up and enjoy Rana’s growth and antics. The book is nearly 400 pages long, but they fly by, and if you are 16 and up looking for a rom com style escape book this will fit the bill. The only thing that really gave me pause is an early label the protagonist slaps on her self as “not being a devout Muslim.” I get the point is to not let the stereotype of an arranged marriage and strict brown parents overshadow the initial impression of the book, but the author is a better writer than that early statement indicates. As the story progresses you see her Islam IS very much part of her identity, her environment, her outlook, and the author shows it in relatable nuanced ways that the early “telling” was not needed. Yes, the book has the protagonist and a different boy or two alone at times, and there is some hand holding and a few hugs, but the intention is always to find a spouse, and religious lines are usually clearly on the character’s radar. There is some talk about mortgages, and a side Muslim character that has a girlfriend he keeps secret as they go on holiday together, but again, nothing obscene, or defensive, just realistic actions from contemporary characters viewing things their own way and doing the best they can.

SYNOPSIS:

Maya’s life is pretty predictable, she lives at home, goes to work, hangs out with her childhood friend on the weekend, and dodges any attempts to be set up for marriage. Then one day on the tube a mysterious stranger, Noah, his leather bound notebook, and everyone else in her life moving forward, prompts her to open the notebook and copy his 30 before 30 list. Adapting what doesn’t make sense at all for her life, she never peeks ahead, but rather takes one adventure at a time. When people from different circles in her life start interacting, and Noah reenters her life, Maya will have decisions to make and a new list to commit to, her own.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I needed a diversion, I was going to be spending a few consecutive days in waiting rooms at hospitals and knew I’d need something light, easy to read, pause, and return to, and something to make me smile. Maya is likeable, and her family and friends relatable. Her Bangladeshi and British culture add depth and I was genuinely surprised and appreciative with how much Islam managed to find its way in to the plot and character arcs.

FLAGS:

Relationships outside of marriage, nude model, lying, hugs, hand holding.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

This would make a great adult, college, or even 12th grade book club selection, for just a fun book to laugh about and enjoy with friends. It isn’t that deep, but there are threads that will hit, and to chat about it will bring friends closer together.

Dec2

The Love Match by Priyanka Taslim

Posted on December 2, 2022 by islamicschoollibrarian

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This new YA book features Muslim characters, but is not a religious conscious read that fits in the halal category. There is a lot of Islam: waking up for fajr, celebrating Eid, a hijabi, mention of jummah, but the OWN voice rom com sets boundaries based on Bangladeshi culture and American perspectives. The book does not other, or have internalized Islamophobia, or fall in to tropes of oppression and rebelling- quite the contrary- it normalizes everything: LGBTQ+ relationships, dating, music, etc. The book is well written from a literary perspective: easy read, fleshed out characters, resolved plot lines, I wish there would have been more slow burn and heightened emotion, and cathartic release, but it happily held my attention for 388 pages, so I can’t really complain about plot holes or development. The problem I have as an Islamic School Librarian is the non issue dating and romance is for the characters with their parents knowledge, both lesbian and heterosexual. The book doesn’t get graphic, in fact there is only a handful of kisses, but there is a lot of hand holding and pdas in front of parents and even a sleepover with a lesbian couple in a Muslim family’s home, again, nothing “racy” occurs, but the normalization is worth noting for those thinking a Salaam Reads book is going to be a more Islamically centered publication.

SYNOPSIS:

Zahra Khan has graduated high school, and while she’d love to be heading to Columbia to study writing with her best friends, she is stuck deferring her admission and scholarships, and hiding her dream to be an author. Two years earlier her father has passed away and Zahra works in a tea shop to help keep a roof over the heads of her mother, grandmother, and siblings. In the Bangladeshi community in Patterson, New Jersey Zahra’s mom imagines arranging a marriage to a wealthy family for Zahra to ease their financial stresses. When a potential match comes a possible reality, Zahra takes control to try and keep the peace and keep her dreams within reach. In Jane Austin-y feels, a love triangle emerges, friends step up, culture and family touchstones shared and appreciated, and decisions about the future will have to be figured out at 18 years old.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I loved how easy a read the book is, the cultural framing was warm and rich and never overly explained or apologized for. It is what it is, it is who the characters are, and while at times they push back on the negatives, it doesn’t disregard the love that exists at the core. Unfortunately, I really struggled though with the ease in which the characters date with their parents’ knowledge, hold hands, cuddle. I really couldn’t imagine a practicing Muslim family being so supportive of a lesbian daughter in the way that the Tahir family is and allowing a sleepover, nor could I see a hafiz attending musical concerts and Bollywood movies or an imam passing on “love” notes, even side comments about a loan between mother and daughter being paid back with interest felt off. I know I know, there are lots of shades of Muslims, but the normalcy of haram I feel in a review of this book should be noted. It isn’t side mentions, they are central to the story and large portions of the book. The reason I also feel they are worthy of note, is because the book includes a lot of Islam as well. The characters pray and fast and eat halal. They are conscious of chaperones in some settings and keeping things appropriate. There is no doubt that the characters are Muslim, but I think intentionally, to avoid perhaps critiques such as mine, Islam is not used as a reason to do or not do anything, Islam is not used in the thought process or conscience of the characters, culture is. There is no haram police setting boundaries, it just isn’t what “good Deshi girls do.” To be fair, I don’t think the author has ever claimed that this is a halal love story, or that the characters are exploring their Muslim identities, it is a love story that features Muslims is all.

FLAGS:

Straight and sapphic relationships, secret relationships, kissing, hand holding, hugging, lying, music, loss, bullying, interest.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

I would not be able to use this book, it would be very damaging to be given to a Muslim child from a Muslim teacher in an Islamic school. It normalizes a lot of haram in a familiar Islamic framing that I think would really confuse YA readers who see themselves and see no push back or consequences for actions they know to be against Islamic ideology.

May16

Hassan and Aneesa Go To a Nikaah by Yasmeen Rahim illustrated by Rakaiya Azzouz

Posted on May 16, 2022 by islamicschoollibrarian

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Hassan and Aneesa Go To a Nikaah by Yasmeen Rahim illustrated by Rakaiya Azzouz

The latest installment in the Hassan and Aneesa series caught my attention because there just aren’t a lot of books about an Islamic marriage process (it is Desi tinged). Cultural weddings you often see, but despite the misleading title of them just attending a Nikaah, they actually walk the reader through the steps from wanting to get married, to getting to know someone, praying Salatul-Istikhara, agreeing on a mahr, signing contracts, and a walima. The idea and premise is brilliant and greatly needed, the finished product, not so much. Somehow I had forgotten how tiny in size the books in the series are (6.5×7.5), making it all visually cluttered and the text often hard to see over the illustrations. And while I love how the concepts and terms are defined, the point of view of having it witnessed and detailed by the brother sister duo is often awkward and wordy. I wish the author would have ditched the familiar characters, and just written a book about the marriage process for kids. The vacillating between a fictionalized story, factual requirements, kids witnessing their parents helping their cousin get married, makes for a tangled book that fails to connect to readers seven and up, let alone two and up like the book claims. If you’re kids are asking about how Muslims marry or seem curious about a halal way it can be done, I suppose this book would provide a way to understand some of the key facets in broad strokes, but it needs editing, and more space to show joy and excitement in a book about families and a couple coming together.

The very first page set the tone for me, the overly dressed girl at a barbecue and the way her name seems to be so formally introduced. Perhaps it is a difference of culture, but the book never bounced back from the heavy handed tone. Aisha wants to get married and asks her parents to help her find someone. They ask her what she is looking for and she tells them. I like what she includes kindness, love of Allah, funny, etc. I wish it would have suggested that she had given it a lot of thought before answering though.

Aneesa and Hassan’s mom and their aunt are discussing Aisha’s want to marry at their painting class and a friend over hears and suggests her son Uthman. The families agree to have the two meet in a cafe with Aneesa and Hassan’s dad and uncle so that her mahram is nearby. Uthman and Aisha both enjoy sports and Uthman interacts with a baby at another table impressing Aisha. They both pray istikhara and decide that the families should all meet.

It is then time to pick out a dress and hand out invitations, which at least involves Hassan and Aneesa, but the pages are so cringe and awkward from the phrasing, to the structure of the concepts. The spread is disjointed and you’ll catch yourself shaking your head and making a face every time you read it.

Mehndi is next and I’m not sure why it focuses on Aneesa not sitting still and looking sad when her design is ruined. It seems like an odd inclusion in what should be a joyous book. Hassan is entrusted with gift to hold on to by Uthman for Aisha, and the Imam gives a khutbah about marriage.

Contracts are then signed with Aisha her wali, uthman and the imam and each party is asked if they agree. They have already decided on the mahr and then Hassan hands over the gift. The walima feast is delicious and the reader is encouraged to go back and find the cat in the illustrations.

As for illustrations I do like that the main females are shown out of hijab at home, and in hijab while out. At the wedding there are different shades of brown, different loves of covering and not covering, there is a guest in a wheel chair and the couple and their families seem happy. I found it odd that it says they are in love, since there isn’t a lot of emotion mentioned before the last page and I wish the text on numerous pages wasn’t mixed in with the pictures.

The book concludes with a glossary of terms.

Nov13

That Can Be Arranged: A Muslim Love Story by Huda Fahmy

Posted on November 13, 2020 by islamicschoollibrarian

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That Can Be Arranged: A Muslim Love Story by Huda Fahmy

I’m not entirely sure why I didn’t review and highlight the first book, “Yes, I’m Hot in This: The Hilarious Truth About Life in a Hijab” I really should have, so to cut to the chase if you don’t follow the author/illustrator on social media you really should and you should read both her books. Both are for all ages and while meant for adults, teens and tweens love it as well, I should know I’ve purchased and gifted over a dozen of them. I find my kids thumbing through both books a lot: my (early) teen girl and my tween boys. Part of is it because the comics are funny, relatable, but more importantly as I’m learning from my kids, because they are curious. In this book particularly, it is a great example of how Muslim marriages can happen, sure my kids know how my husband and my marriage was “arranged,” but they are constantly surrounded by ideas of dating and crushes and even divorce that I never realized that a book like this, featuring Muslims, actually Islamically contextualizes some of their gleamed information. The fact that the book is hilarious and clean and rings with such honesty, makes it easier for them to articulate their questions and removes some of the taboo as well. So, buy it for yourself to enjoy and if you have kids 11 and up in your home, you are ok to let them read it too.

SYNOPSIS:

It isn’t a chapter book, it is part comic book, part story, part info-graphic, and all biographical. The book opens with an ayat about spouses from the Quran and follows with an informative and funny message to the reader. Seriously, I laughed as she explained about drawing herself with hijab in bed and noting that most people don’t read the notes to the reader at the beginning. There are also a list of helpful terms before the introduction begins. Her story is broken up in to sections to pace and move the story along. It starts with the ground work of expectations and cultural norms and then tells her story of how she eventually met and married her husband. Not that it is straight forward, the book is 192 pages. There is a decent amount of explaining Islam and the role culture plays in the many pitfalls and big decisions along the way.

WHY I LOVE IT:

I think any female, born Muslim, over the age of 20 will relate to a lot in this, lots of others will as well, but that demographic specifically will find parts very reflective of their own experiences. I love that it shows the banter between the protagonist and her mother, truly that to me was the heart of the story. I love that it shows female empowerment and vulnerability at the same time within an Islamic context and unapologetically. This book is by a Muslim for Muslims, but non Muslims will enjoy it as well. It dispels and illustrates what an “arranged marriage” can mean for Muslims and shows that there is more than one way to understand the label.

I love the size of the book, the binding and the page quality. I had no problems with “Yes, I’m Hot in This,” but after seeing the larger size of this book 7 x 8 and the thicker pages, I really preferred this presentation.

FLAGS:

Clean

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

Obviously not really a candidate for a book club, but I think teen girls would enjoy reading this and laughing about it with a group of friends.

So fun and so good, alhumdulillah.