Tag Archives: kissing

Dahling, If You Luv Me, Would You Please, Please Smile by Rukhsana Khan

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Dahling, If You Luv Me, Would You Please, Please Smile by Rukhsana Khan

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I’m not sure how I missed this 1999 published YA book by the OG-groundbreaking-industry-changing- Rukhsana Khan, but until @bintyounus mentioned it to me recently I didn’t even know it existed.  The book has so much Islam, ayats, hadith, salat- Islamic fiction self-published often doesn’t have as much as this mainstream book has, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that some of the content was a bit shocking.  Part of my surprise I think comes from the fact that the book is only 206 pages, it takes its title from a game I remember playing in elementary school at recess, the main character is in 8th grade and the cover is soft pinks.  This book is solid YA both now, and nearly 25 years ago, it carries some incredibly heavy themes: attempted suicide, topless photographs, sexual coercion, cigarette smoking, assault, racism, misogyny, toxic relationships, neglect and more (see flags below).  The book is memorable and hard to put down, the Islam is confident and explored, even when weaponized by an older sister, but there is no denying the story telling abilities of the author, and  while I won’t be letting my 11 or 13 year old read it any time soon, I know I benefitted from reading it- reminiscing about wanting Lucky Jeans and standing in awe of how EVERY. MUSLIM. DESI. author making it in mainstream today is benefitting from the path paved by Rukhsana Khan.  On behalf of readers everywhere- thank you.  Thank you for fighting to tell your stories your way, raising the bar, and offering real Muslim characters from a Muslim voice. 

SYNOPSIS:

Zainab has no friends and doesn’t own a pair of Lucky Jeans, she is the only one in 8th grade that doesn’t.  She feels like if she could trade in her polyester pants for the “cool” pants everyone has, she’d be accepted.  When that plan fails and lands her in trouble, she gets tasked with directing her house’s school play.  The teacher convinces her that it will be a way for her to make friends, and earn her classmates respect, but middle school is never that easy.  Everyone is in love with Kevin, including Zainab, but he is a jerk and if he isn’t the lead, no one else will audition.  Jenny is poor, but has a big chest, so even though she is nice to Zainab, she is more in love with Kevin who only wants her for one thing, and takes advantage whenever his girlfriend isn’t around.  Add to the drama Zainab’s very strict older sister who lists off Zainab’s faults every night with Islamic references to try and make Zainab a better person, and this coming of age story will require Zainab to sort through it all and find her own way to be.  There are a lot of subplots that circle around the play, social circles, toxic relationships, and self growth, that while the characters are worried if they will win the competition and break the curse, the readers (at least this 41 year old mama) are hoping that the characters will survive the year unscathed. 

WHY I LIKE IT:

I love that the family is the same family that will become its own story in Big Red Lollipop just grown up, with names changes, and that the story is summarized.  I’m still a little torn if I love the raw grittiness of the way the two sisters interact or if it goes too far and leaves a bitter taste about Islam.  I really am on the fence about how young readers, both Muslim and non Muslim, in 1999 and in 2022, would view the role of Islam in the dynamic.  I think it reads powerfully, but I had a hard time going back to look at it through my 13 year old eyes and it as an adult it is intense.  I still can’t believe that this book was published with how much Islam it contains, even the play put on in a public school was religiously centered.  White privilege is called out and stereotypes about whites are stated, a Hindu character and the Muslim main character work through their baggage, economic privilege is opined on, women’s rights and expectations discussed, comments about “othering” are present-  it really covers a lot. Quite impressive in a lot of ways. 

The relationship and love themes are not shied away from which caught me off guard.  I expected some making-out and heavy petting, but was surprised it went to topless photos, a character’s mom being a nudist, and that there is a lot of forced touching.  I think for most Islamic school 8th graders, this book would be too mature, in fact I genuinely hope it is. Not to say it is not accurate, but it is very critical to the story and I think would need some discussion.  

I love that the characters draw you in, as much as you despise everyone picking on Zainab, you know she isn’t a pushover and you really pull for her.  I didn’t want to put the book down and kept reading because I wanted to make sure she was ok, see what choices she made, and in a fairly short book, that is remarkable story telling.

FLAGS:

The book is for mature readers in my opinion.  There are relationships, assault, cigarettes’, nudists, kissing, spying, sexual assault, coercion, topless nude photographs, attempted suicide, bullying, teasing, cheating, physical assault, language, verbal abuse, stereotypes, talk of female anatomy, and use of Islam to hurt.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

I don’t know that I would shelve this in the library, I would see if perhaps there is a version with a different cover, one that might signal a more mature reader.  I would worry if an early middle schooler read this, I think it would be a lot for them to take in, process, and reflect on.  It isn’t a light read, and would need some discussion, but ultimately I don’t know that a middle school book club at an Islamic school would be the right place for it. It could be for sure, but not the one I’m currently at.

The Secret Diary of Mona Hasan by Salma Hussain

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The Secret Diary of Mona Hasan by Salma Hussain

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I really don’t know how to review this book. Is it funny and engaging, yes at times, but I am a 41 year old, and I can attribute it (hopefully/possibly) to satire, hubris, character voice, and commentary, except it isn’t written for me, it is written for 10-14 year olds.   There is no way would I put this in the hands of a fourth grader, let alone a high schooler.  The book starts on New Year’s eve with a “Muslim” family drinking alcohol, later the 11 year old drinks to get brave enough to meet up with her boyfriend (he wanted to wait until after Ramadan), after a bad haircut she starts wearing hijab and later takes it off, her period starts and she is baffled at which hole it comes out of, she is no longer allowed to be alone in a room with a boy because that is how babies are made, but it is ok to go to a school dance and kiss them, women are rather useless, old people (31 year olds and up)  should know their place and act their age, dark skin is bad, chests need to be big, slut is both something you are and something you can do,  Aisha (RA)’s age of marriage is criticized as is Khadeeja (RA)’s, no one is as good at her, Ramadan is annoying because she has to hide when she eats in public for a whole month, Friday prayers even though they rush through them limit their fun time, the Tablighi Jamaat have to be lied to and hidden from, her mom is pregnant months after coming out of her bedroom smiling, her father claims he will only ever enter a mosque horizontally, you can see the list goes on and on.  Yet at the same time, there are true moments of strength, such as when she fights back against the creepy sexual assault vibes from “uncle annoying” and then protects her sister when her parents dismiss it, when she sticks up to a bully to protect her gay friend in Canada, the dad getting caught one day praying salat, the love of family felt despite her perceived privilege while visiting Pakistan, her constant reference to Allah swt as she asks Him and tries to understand the world around her, and her terrible, terrible poetry.  The diary style is both brilliant in trying to show the world through Mona’s eyes, and irritating as NONE of the aforementioned concerns are given any context, explanation, reflection, anything.  The thoughts pour out of her head, onto the paper, and the reader is left to figure out if this is how things are, is this her naïve view, is she commenting on society, is the author, is this fact, is it satire, is it someone with an axe to grind on culture and religion, is it showing the ridiculousness of so many stereotypes? And to be honest, I have no idea.  Which is why I can’t say that the book is good or bad, I think it is well written, my problem with it is, I don’t know who it is written for.  I think it would be very damaging to young children, the vulgarity, misogyny, racism, arrogance, will hurt both those that see parts of themselves in Mona and those that read it and assume too much about what Mona represents.

SYNOPSIS:

Mona is an 11 year old girl, and this is her diary.  She is arrogant and opinionated, but she grows and mellows as her view of the world moves from privilege in Dubai to immigrant in Canada with a bit of an awakening in Pakistan in between.  It is her view of her life, her place in the world, and the greater society around her.  It is an easy read on the surface of her living through the war without getting any days off of school, friends, maturation, first loves, hoping for a bigger chest, pulling a fire alarm to get time with a boyfriend, feminism, and the annoyance of being better than everyone else in everything she does.  There are side characters that flit in and out and family members that shape her, but the point of view is uniquely hers in all matters regarding leaving the Middle East as a Pakistani living there, spending time with her mother and father’s families in Pakistan and the rift her parents’ love marriage caused on their acceptance of her, their move to Canada to start a more peaceful life that ends up being grueling and difficult and through it all threads of Islam, fitting in, and growing up.  It is a snapshot of so much that the reader is left to connect the pieces, assign them value, and understand the larger message, if one exists.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I still don’t know if I like it or dislike it.  I dislike it for kids.  I like it for adults as a light over the top snarky read, but I think my opening paragraph is sufficient and the 296 page book doesn’t need my concerns and praises rehashed here.

FLAGS:

Misogyny, anti Islam, sexism, racism, ageism, lying, vulgarity, cursing, crude talk, lying, disrespect, lack of religious respect, kissing, sexual assault (attempt), deceit, pulling a fire alarm, physical fighting/assault, family trauma, arrogance, pettiness, stereotypes, bullying, sexual innuendos,

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

I have suggested a few ADULT friends read the book so we can chat, but no kiddos, no teens, no early twenties, old ladies (31 plus according to the main character)!