Tag Archives: discussion

Boy, Everywhere by A.M. Dassu

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Boy, Everywhere by A.M. Dassu

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In a very crowded field of refugee themed books, this 400 page middle grades/early middle school novel sets itself apart by really focussing on the quality of life enjoyed in Syria compared to the life of a refugee on the move and in getting reestablished as an immigrant.  Where other books allude to how things in Syria got worse and then perhaps focus more on the horrific journey desperate individuals are forced to take, this book is very direct in showing the young protagonist’s daily life in Damascus and really cementing in the notion for western privileged readers, that loosing everything could happen to anyone. The book does show hardships on the perilous journey by truck and boat as well as showing that life in England isn’t immediately better.  Side characters throughout the book show diverse opinions and strengths that for the preteen target demographic would provide starting points for wonderful discussion and dialogue to take place. Overall, the book does a decent job of not falling into the same cliche’ narrative even though the book does have a hopeful and happy ending.

SYNOPSIS:

Sami is the 13-year-old son of a surgeon and principal.  He has a little sister, a best friend, a desire to be on the football (soccer) team, the latest Air Jordans, a love of video games, his iPad, and a very comfortable life.  When he orders the newest soccer shoes to wear for tryouts and begs his mom to go pick them up from the mall, the Syrian civil war which has seemed an arm’s length away, comes to Damascus and to Sami.  The mall is bombed while his mom and little sister are getting his shoes and while they survive Sara is traumatized and stops speaking.  The family decides immediately and secretly that they have to leave.  Sami is kept slightly in the dark and thus, so is the reader as to how quick everything must be liquidated and how uncertain the future is for the family.  

Sami is forced to turn over his iPad to his parents, he stops going to school, and before he has time to talk to his friends, he is saying good bye to his grandmother and heading to Lebanon with his parents and sister.  The journey is perilous and fraught with danger.  The constant state of fear and silence, the peeing in bottles, the trust in smugglers is all so palpable.  The rooms they are locked in with other refugees and the the bonds and fears and squalor that Sami experiences is such a stark contrast to the life he has known of drivers and maids.  In one smuggler’s den in Turkey Sami befriends a boy slightly older than him that is traveling alone, Aadam.  Desperate to help his new friend, Sami tries to steal his father’s cell phone and some money to help Aadam ensure his seat on a boat, not a raft, to cross the Mediterranean.  Sami is used to his family helping others, this situation of not being able to help, not being able to help themselves, is very new to him, and causes a lot of stress and strain between Sami and his father.

Sami has a fear of boats and water, having nearly drowned years earlier, the idea of getting on a make shift boat in the night with rough water is not something Sami is mentally prepared to do and when a boat near them capsizes, the reader is made painfully aware that even those that survive this journey are not left unharmed.  The family makes it to England to claim asylum, they are put in a holding area, a prison more or less, to await the next stop in a long process.  Here Sami and his father are assaulted and the threat of physical violence and imprisonment start to really affect Sami.  When they eventually get to a distant family members house in Manchester, their struggles are far from over as the family is unwelcoming.  School brings out the racists, the parents take jobs as factory workers and cleaners and Sara is still not talking.  With the guilt of his family’s condition weighing heavily on Sami, the constant bullying by his family in England, and the sad condition of his family’s finances, Sami decides he needs to return to Syria to care for his Tete and unburden his family of his presence.  

Yah, sorry, I’m not going to give it all away.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I love that the book really articulates how Sami’s life is in Syria and has him remark multiple times in England how much nicer things were in Damascus.  It doesn’t come across as a criticism, but rather a rattling of the paradigm that the west is so much better across the board.  I love that Sami’s best friend in Syria is Christian and that they are so respectful of each other’s faith and it is a non issue.  I love that some of the refugees in the holding apartment are kind and some in the detention facility in England are criminal.  It allows for the reminder that people are people even when they are refugees and cannot be assumed to be a monolith.  It also opens the door to discuss how desperation changes people.  Sami’s family is usually very generous, but with their own futures in turmoil, they cannot afford to be, they also presumable are very social and yet, the silence between strangers and within their own family is very telling of the stress and worry that plagues them.  I like how the process humbles the characters.  Not that I enjoy or feel that the characters needed necessarily to be humbled, but it is a transition that the reader benefits from seeing.  Sami’s father is/was a doctor, a surgeon, but is loading boxes in a factory, the desire to take care of ones family trumps degrees and expectation.  The transition is conveyed to the reader and I think will plant a seed of empathy in even the hardest hearts.  

The family in Manchester, particularly the boy Hassan, is awful and the friend, Ali, from school is amazing.  These opposing Muslim characters also help break the stereotype of where bullying comes from, and who is welcoming, allowing for people to be seen more as individuals than they often are in literature and in real life.  Islam is presented as characteristics of the characters when it does appear.  They ask Allah for help and say salam, attend various mosques, but there are not heavy religious overtones.  

At times Sami is annoying, and as an adult reading the book, I had to remind myself that that is probably exactly how a 13 year old boy would behave.  He sees things in black and white and is often singularly focused on contacting his friends.  He doesn’t understand the bigger picture, nor is told a lot of the bigger picture.  It is a hard age of being kept from stuff because you are too young, and being expected to rise up and be mature because of the gravity of the situation.  The book is not overly political, it is character driven and very memorable thanks to Sami’s perspective and voice.

The book is researched, it is not an OWN voice story, and while it is a compelling and engaging read, that I hope is accurate, the framing of the story is not incredibly original.  Aside from other Syrian refugee focused books, the book reminded me quite a bit of Shooting Kabul, albeit the country being left is different.   Both plots focus on a boy leaving with his family and blaming himself for the tragedy that has befallen a younger sister and the repercussions it is having on the family as they reestablish themselves as immigrants.  In both books the character plans to board an airplane to return “home,” as well.  

I like that there is a map, a glossary, and an author’s note included in the beautifully spaced, visibly accessible book.

FLAGS:

The assault is intense as is the fear of physical assault.  There is nothing detailed in the bombing, but the implied stresses of war, the journey of the characters, and the situations that they are in would be best for ten year olds and up.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

I am hoping to use this book as a Middle School book club read to start next year off.  The book is not yet out in paperback, otherwise I would do it this year.  There are so many things to discuss: from Sami’s unhappiness, his strengths, his desire to help others, to considering life from Aadam’s perspective and Hassans.  This book begs to be talked about with young readers and I’m so excited to hear what their thoughts are and who they identify with.  They could be Sami, he is a boy, everywhere, and if we can all remember that, we all will be better humans, period, the end.

Let it Go: Learning the Lesson of Forgiveness by Na’ima B. Robert and Mufti Menk illustrated by Samantha Chaffey

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Let it Go: Learning the Lesson of Forgiveness by Na’ima B. Robert and Mufti Menk illustrated by Samantha Chaffey

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This 32 page rhyming book follows a little boy around as he is weighed down by a lot of things not going his way.  He doesn’t want to forgive until he is the one that hurts someone else and realizes we all make mistakes, forgiveness is not a weakness, and we all feel angry at times.  The book breaks from the story to ask the reader to think about their emotions in various situations, and encourages the reader to talk about their feelings.  The framework is Islamic and the repenting to Allah swt is part of the message. I found it awkward to read independently, but I read it to a small group of my own kids and their cousins, seven in all, ages four to thirteen, and it worked very well to discuss what the boy was feeling and how they would react.  I think this book would be great in a classroom or as a book an adult reads to a child at bedtime to encourage conversation.  I had to point out to the little ones, that the knapsack was getting bigger with the little boys anger, and explain what it was, but as a tool to foster dialogue it was incredibly powerful.

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The book starts out with a poem/du’a by Mufti Menk that sets the tone for the book.  It makes clear that we are all human and feel things and that this book is a tool to understand and emotionally grow from.  No one is going to get in trouble or be reprimanded.

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The story stats with the little boy waking up happy and ready to have a wonderful day.  But then when he comes down for breakfast, his sister has eaten the last piece of toast.  The book asks the reader, “how do you feel when things don’t go your way?” and asks the little boy to let sorry make it better so that he can let it go.  But the little boy doesn’t want to let it go, he wants to hold on, and as a result it makes his heart feel heavy.

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This pattern is followed throughout the book giving examples when the boy doesn’t get included in a game at school with his friends, when his friend kicks his football (soccer ball) in to the road and it gets popped by a passing car, and at dinner when his older brother laughs at him.

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He then picks on his sister at bedtime, and doesn’t even know why he is doing it, and realizes that he too has made a mistake.  He learns that “it takes a strong person to let it go,” and that “forgiving is like taking off a heavy bag that I’ve been carrying all day long.”

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The book ends with some verses and hadith about forgiveness.  Has some facial expressions with emotions to discuss, and space to write down things that make you feel angry, hurt, or sad as well as a place to share what makes you happy, grateful, and safe.  There is also a glossary of Islamic Arabic terms on the inside back cover.

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My Voice is my Super Power by Shariea Shoatz illustrated by Kilson Spany

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My Voice is my Super Power by Shariea Shoatz illustrated by Kilson Spany

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I want to believe most parents and/or caregivers discuss body boundaries and what’s appropriate and what’s not, with their children regularly.  But if you don’t, or haven’t, or just glossed over it while at the doctors office, this book is a great discussion starter and road map.  The author comes from a place of educational and personal experience and the 33 page book tells a story that children can read independently with a discussion guide for parents to follow at the end.  Even if you don’t feel comfortable letting your children read the story independently or with you, there is a page depicting male and female private parts, I still think the book is a way for adults to face their own squeamishness of discussing it, and get ideas of how to present to their children.  Being nervous or uncomfortable is not an excuse to not discuss sexual abuse against children with our children.  For their voice to be their super power, we must first be willing to use ours to open the subject with them, educate them, and empower them.  Abuse happens in every culture, religion, socio economic bracket, period, to think differently is naive and dangerous.

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Nine-year-old Buddy is heading to his cousins’ house for a sleepover, but before heading out, he addresses the readers to make sure they know the body safety rules and to make sure his super power, his voice, is ready.  His voice is what he can use if he feels unsafe, or to help his friends if they feel unsafe.  He can say “Stop” or “No” if someone breaks one of the Body Safety Rules.

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His mom, a muhajaba, has being teaching him since he was three to use his voice to let people know his body belongs to him.  He knows he can say no when he doesn’t want to hug or kiss or touch someone, even if they are a family member.

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The book then talks about body parts that everyone can see and labels them with a diagram before explaining private parts and labeling them as well.  The book also discussing using the proper names, not nicknames or “cute” names, such as hotdog and cookie, to describe anatomy and body parts.

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If someone breaches or doesn’t listen to the “No” or “Stop” the book encourages everyone have a safety circle of adults you trust and like and that you feel safe and comfortable talking to.  It also mentions that if one person doesn’t listen or believe you to go to another person in the circle until someone does.

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Another rule is No Secrets, and the book explains the difference between a secret and a surprise, which does eventually get told.

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When Buddy gets to his cousins house, the kids play and have fun, when a friend of the aunt’s stops by and gives only Keisha a treat before leaving.  When Buddy asks about the friend, his cousin talks about how they play pretend and tickle and how they have a secret touch game.  Buddy explains the rules to his cousin and then goes with her to help her talk to her mom about the breaking of Body Safety Rules.

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The story ends with the mom calling “people” to take the friend away and the kids feeling empowered that they kept their bodies safe.

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The Activity Guide for Adults gives information for each of the pages in the story to help the adult understand why that part of the story is included (i.e. grooming, disclosure, etc.) and activities to ensure understanding and mastery.

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The book is not religion specific, and would be a great benefit to all children, everywhere with parental involvement and dialogue.

May Allah swt keep all our children safe, ameen.