Tag Archives: dating

Sep2

My Perfect Family by Khadijah VanBrakle

Posted on September 2, 2025 by islamicschoollibrarian

Oh Dear. The very premise alone of this book requires the author to expertly thread the needle of numerous pitfalls, which in my opinion did not occur. A girl, Leena, learns about family members at age 16, who are Muslim, and the practice of Islam being the “reason” her mother ran away from her family when she herself was 16, means that for Muslim readers the representation needs to be clear that the family’s interpretation is to blame and not the religion itself. It also means that as Leena learns the reader learns, and non Muslims (or honestly even Muslims) are not going to want a heavy handed preachy 256 page YA book. The Islam “taught” to Leena has to align with the readers interpretation or show why the characters believe as they do, and the conclusion regarding religion and identity needs to make sense for the character aside from what reader wants to have happen. Unfortunately the copy I read contained numerous errors, repetitive paragraphs, a weak resolution, dropped plot threads, and had me cringing at how harsh Islam was being presented through the great aunt character, that honestly if Islam was just presented as no dating and dressing modestly, or else you will get married off, I can see why one would run away. The book contains a lot of cursing, and features dating, having a child out of wedlock, death, and gambling by non Muslim characters.

SYNOPSIS:
Leena has always wanted a big family, but her and her single mom, Asiyah tackle life together. Leena and her best friend Deidre are employed by Asiyah’s in home daycare and are as close as sisters, but she wants more. When Asiyah finds out her father has had a heart attack, Leena learns she has a grandfather and great aunt that live an hour away, in Santa Fe. From the moment Leena sets foot in the hospital, under the gaze of her Aunt Samira, the judgmental overtones begin regarding clothing, education, food choices, and dating. As a result Asiyah is reassured that she made the right decision all those years ago to leave Islam and her family. Leena however, has had her entire world changed, and is willing to endure the abrasive Samira to get to know her grandfather Tariq.

WHY I LIKE IT:
I like that family drama and secrets were teased, even if I didn’t think that they were presented and resolved well. I wish they took more of the focus and that Islam being a reason for the animosity was downplayed. I think religion could and should have been one of many factors, having it be the ONLY factor put a lot of pressure on the presentation, which fell short. It also means that the resolution needed to resolve the Islam hanging in the air, SPOILER, it didn’t. The conclusion has Asiyah realizing her father never stopped loving her, but how did that resolve the relationship with her and Samira? And suddenly Samira just backed off her singular Islamic identity? A bit of whiplash with it all happening off the page, left me unsatisfied. Speaking of pages, the book spends a lot of page space having characters drive the one hour one way to have conversations that are less than 15 minutes and could have been done over the phone or even texted. Nothing exciting or revealing comes from these drives, they just make the story drag. Tariq should have ridden along, so we could see why he was “such a great man,” see why Leena kept enduring the harshness of her Aunt to get to know him, and have the family she always dreamed of.

Islam is presented through the harshest of harsh characters, a few side characters are brought in that make Islam more realistic in practice and fleshed out, but it really feels like it is too little too late. I think a non Muslim would feel Islam is just modest dress, no interacting with boys, marrying early, and rigid rules. Leena is harassed from the first moment she meets her family, no easing in to it, she is even handed brochures on her first visit to her grandfather’s home. Yet, Leena never shows any interest in learning about Islam, she could Google it if she was curious, even when at the masjid, she doesn’t go and watch them pray, no connection to Allah is ever discussed, it is just dos and do nots. Consistently throughout it feels like Islam is weaponized and perhaps that is the author’s experience or intent, but it is odd coming from a Muslim writer in a fictional setting. We get enough of that stereotyping from the non Muslim real world.

The emphasis on Islam being the only thing that matters for these characters means that whether they are religious or not, the characters are painted very one dimensional. Leena is a terrible friend, she counts on Deidre to drive her around, she never follows up on asking about her dates or reciprocating the effort for her other than feeding her. Asiyah has an ex-boyfriend show up, and then goes out with a friend, but there is no context for their abrupt arrivals and then departures from the story, they do not serve as a foil to reveal any pertinent information or connection. A plot device used quite often in the book, and one I am not a fan of, is when things can be solved by characters simply having a conversation. It is never the right time, they will talk later, even the fruition that started the family fracturing could have been eased by, you guessed it, the characters talking, not even agreeing, just talking. While I’m running through my top gripes, might I add, that I have spent a few too many minutes on the cover as well. Presumably Leena is in the middle, her young single mom Asiyah on the right, but who is the young hijabi? Her aunt does not read young at all, and she would not have her neck showing, that would go against her core characterization. So before you come at me that I have no right to my opinions and that I’m too mean, please solve the mystery of who is on the cover, thank you.

I read an ARC so I am aware that changes could have occurred, I’ve requested the book from my library and it is on order, and I will come back and correct this paragraph if needed. The story of tae kwon do is repeated in two different spots almost word for word as if the information that Asiyah was good at tae kwon do both times is news to Leena. Clearly it is in error. It also has Deidre’s grandmother getting their house with the insurance money from Deidre’s parents dying and then a few lines later saying how the grandma doesn’t let Diedre forget that the spare room was changed to a bedroom for Diedre when she moved in. A friend, Rheem, is brought in guide Leena academically, and is described as being homeschooled and changing to an online program for her senior year to also take dual enrollment classes, a few chapters later they are going to her Islamic High School for a party. Side note, the sign on the high school says, “ALHIDAAYAH ISLAMIC SCHOOL: Grades sixth through twelfth. We want our children learning it’s okay to be both American and Muslim.” The last page of the book also has a “Sharifa” in the back seat, and there is no Sharifa previously mentioned in the book.

FLAGS:
Cursing, judgement, dating, running away from home, anger, death, loss, lying, flirting, gambling, child out of wedlock, cutting family ties, clothing shaming, music, othering.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:
I wouldn’t shelve or use this book for a book club read. I think Muslim kids would be annoyed by the way Islam is presented. I think they would be ok that Leena SPOILER didn’t take an interest in Islam, but I think they would be bothered by the flat, angry portrayal that it has in the book.

Dec2

The Love Match by Priyanka Taslim

Posted on December 2, 2022 by islamicschoollibrarian

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This new YA book features Muslim characters, but is not a religious conscious read that fits in the halal category. There is a lot of Islam: waking up for fajr, celebrating Eid, a hijabi, mention of jummah, but the OWN voice rom com sets boundaries based on Bangladeshi culture and American perspectives. The book does not other, or have internalized Islamophobia, or fall in to tropes of oppression and rebelling- quite the contrary- it normalizes everything: LGBTQ+ relationships, dating, music, etc. The book is well written from a literary perspective: easy read, fleshed out characters, resolved plot lines, I wish there would have been more slow burn and heightened emotion, and cathartic release, but it happily held my attention for 388 pages, so I can’t really complain about plot holes or development. The problem I have as an Islamic School Librarian is the non issue dating and romance is for the characters with their parents knowledge, both lesbian and heterosexual. The book doesn’t get graphic, in fact there is only a handful of kisses, but there is a lot of hand holding and pdas in front of parents and even a sleepover with a lesbian couple in a Muslim family’s home, again, nothing “racy” occurs, but the normalization is worth noting for those thinking a Salaam Reads book is going to be a more Islamically centered publication.

SYNOPSIS:

Zahra Khan has graduated high school, and while she’d love to be heading to Columbia to study writing with her best friends, she is stuck deferring her admission and scholarships, and hiding her dream to be an author. Two years earlier her father has passed away and Zahra works in a tea shop to help keep a roof over the heads of her mother, grandmother, and siblings. In the Bangladeshi community in Patterson, New Jersey Zahra’s mom imagines arranging a marriage to a wealthy family for Zahra to ease their financial stresses. When a potential match comes a possible reality, Zahra takes control to try and keep the peace and keep her dreams within reach. In Jane Austin-y feels, a love triangle emerges, friends step up, culture and family touchstones shared and appreciated, and decisions about the future will have to be figured out at 18 years old.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I loved how easy a read the book is, the cultural framing was warm and rich and never overly explained or apologized for. It is what it is, it is who the characters are, and while at times they push back on the negatives, it doesn’t disregard the love that exists at the core. Unfortunately, I really struggled though with the ease in which the characters date with their parents’ knowledge, hold hands, cuddle. I really couldn’t imagine a practicing Muslim family being so supportive of a lesbian daughter in the way that the Tahir family is and allowing a sleepover, nor could I see a hafiz attending musical concerts and Bollywood movies or an imam passing on “love” notes, even side comments about a loan between mother and daughter being paid back with interest felt off. I know I know, there are lots of shades of Muslims, but the normalcy of haram I feel in a review of this book should be noted. It isn’t side mentions, they are central to the story and large portions of the book. The reason I also feel they are worthy of note, is because the book includes a lot of Islam as well. The characters pray and fast and eat halal. They are conscious of chaperones in some settings and keeping things appropriate. There is no doubt that the characters are Muslim, but I think intentionally, to avoid perhaps critiques such as mine, Islam is not used as a reason to do or not do anything, Islam is not used in the thought process or conscience of the characters, culture is. There is no haram police setting boundaries, it just isn’t what “good Deshi girls do.” To be fair, I don’t think the author has ever claimed that this is a halal love story, or that the characters are exploring their Muslim identities, it is a love story that features Muslims is all.

FLAGS:

Straight and sapphic relationships, secret relationships, kissing, hand holding, hugging, lying, music, loss, bullying, interest.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

I would not be able to use this book, it would be very damaging to be given to a Muslim child from a Muslim teacher in an Islamic school. It normalizes a lot of haram in a familiar Islamic framing that I think would really confuse YA readers who see themselves and see no push back or consequences for actions they know to be against Islamic ideology.

Jan21

Good Intentions by Kasim Ali

Posted on January 21, 2022 by islamicschoollibrarian

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There is a reason that I read juvenile fiction: from board books to YA, but lately the “New Adult” category has really been tempting me. Muslamic romance novels, often really need the protagonist to be looking to get married to make the plot work with some authenticity, which means the main character usually needs to be a bit older than in their teens. I decided to start my tiptoeing into the genre with this book, because I was intrigued at the racial and mental health themes that the blurb teased. Sadly after reading the 288 page story, I still was waiting for more racial and mental health insight or enlightenment or perspective or deeper appreciation or anything really. I kept reading hoping for more character growth, and to find out if the relationship worked. I understand after finishing, that the book was intentionally more subtle and nuanced, and part of me appreciates it, but I still felt the book ultimately provided too little in either regard for me to feel satisfied or content that I had spent time with the characters. The abruptness and harshness of the first few chapters, seemed disjointed from the dialogue filled introspective remainder of the book that showed so much potential, but left me feeling strung along for no real purpose. The book covers mature themes of sexuality, drug use, racism, co-habitation, relationships, culture, mental health, and more. The characters’ identify as Muslim, but aside from Eid prayers, iftar, and mentioning once that they should pray more, there is nothing religious practiced, mentioned, or contained in the story.

SYNOPSIS:

Told in a variety of timelines that all follow the relationship of Nur and Yasmina, the story begins with Nur finally after four years getting up the nerve to tell his desi parents that he has a Black girlfriend, and wants to marry her. He leaves out that they have been living together for years, and the book then flips back to how they met and bounces around filling in the gaps that bring them back to the big reveal.

While in college, Nur had just broken up with Saara, but still goes to her fairly regular house parties. At one such party he meets Yasmina, as a small group at the party sneak off to smoke pot, and he is immediately crushing. His hungover broken-hearted gay friend Imran calls him out on it immediately, and his roommate Rahat chastises him for going to his ex’s parties. Nearly all the main characters are met early on, and the rest of the book focuses on Nur and Yasmina growing closer through college, after school, through their early years of jobs and grad school, and the overshadowing of the fact that Nur has yet to tell his family about Yasmina, while Yasmina’s family is fully aware and fully supportive that they are living together.

All the characters are Muslim, but practice is pretty minimally detailed. Yasmina tells Nur at their first meeting that she wishes she prayed more, and later it is mentioned that her parents were raised strict so they have raised their own children less so. It is possible that Nur’s mom wears a scarf, but not clear either way, and they don’t seem to be bothered that she is living with her boyfriend. Nur on one of his visits home goes for Eid prayers with his father, his mother and sister do not go, and it mentions that they are fasting. Rahat does not find dating is for him, and wants to have a traditional arranged marriage, but it does not disclose if this is because of religious or cultural views. Imran discusses his family praying and that he had to square away his sexuality with Allah swt more or less.

Nur and Yasmina’s younger sister have mental health afflictions. Nur has anxiety attacks, and Hawa severe depression. It does not label or identify or diagnose, this is my assumption, it does detail their experiences though, and how they affect those around them.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I actually enjoyed the writing style and the ease in which it flowed-save the beginning of the book. The beginning was a little crass, almost like the author was trying too hard to get the characters’ environment to read that they were in college. The crude talking about sex and them talking about their parents’ intimacy and smoking and drinking and being vulgar, was in such contrast to the very subtle nuanced rest of the book that tried to show the layers of Nur and Yasmina’s relationships and lives. Once I got through it, I genuinely wanted to know if they could make the relationship work. No I’m not going to spoil it, but that really is why I kept reading.

I was disappointed that the book didn’t draw mental health out in the open. I also wanted some religious based push back on racism. It is a big thing in our communities and the book really could have had the characters argue it and make their points, right or wrong, for the disconnect between faith and culture. It didn’t have to be preachy, or even mean that anyone changed their opinions, but it mentions numerous times, something to the effect of Nur’s parents being racist, but doesn’t detail why that is the suffocating presence in disclosing his relationship. In four years I would imagine the opportunity to correct his parents way of thinking would have arisen, and he could have challenged it. I get that might negate Yasmina’s point that Nur is racist, but I think it should have been made more clear then that he didn’t speak up when opportunities presented, otherwise it just seems unexplored and we, the reader, are expected to just accept the characters on face value, when the book really very easily could have nudged us, to self reflect and look inward.

FLAGS:

There is sex, and drugs, and lying, and racism, and all the other flags that adult books often have. There is one “steamy scene” between Nur and Yasmina, but the rest of the relationship is very mild. Nothing else is graphic in detailing their day-to-day living, or the day-to-day relationships of the other characters in the book: gay or straight.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

No. Would never, could never encourage unmarried Muslims living together, fictionally or otherwise.

Feb21

Yes No Maybe So by Becky Ablertalli and Aisha Saeed

Posted on February 21, 2020 by islamicschoollibrarian

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Yes No Maybe So by Becky Ablertalli and Aisha Saeed

This new rom com in book form with a Muslim female character written by a Muslim author, sets itself apart by being co-written by a Jewish author and the other half of the love story being told by a Jewish boy’s point of view. This YA book is very relevant as a special election in Georgia served as the catalyst of the two authors coming together and fictionalizing the effects of white supremacy, Islamaphobia, and antisemitism for the book, while real headlines were urging the two to canvas, get involved, and make a change against the increased showing of hate with the election of Trump. The presentation of Islam is probably realistic, but definitely not ideal, and with the kissing, multiple LGBTQ+ supporting characters, the profanities, and 436 page length, the book is probably best for 15 year old readers and up.

SYNOPSIS:

Jamie Goldberg is 17 and is spending his summer helping his cousin work on a special election campaign for a Democratic candidate in an incredibly red district in Georgia. A very nervous kid, who hates public speaking and talking to girls in general, he would rather be behind the scenes or hanging out at Target. His little sister, Sophie’s bat mitzvah is coming and things at home are crazy with pre party planning. His grandma, an Instagram sensation uses him for tech support and video filming, and his easy going demeanor means he spends a lot of time, being bossed around.

Maya is the 17 year old only child of a lawyer mom and physician dad and has just found out that they are separating. With her one friend too busy with work and starting at the University of Georgia, US born, Pakistani-American Muslim Maya, is not having a very good Ramadan. When an interfaith event reunites her with a childhood play-date friend, Jamie, her mom convinces her to help him canvas to keep busy and sweetens the deal by bribing her with a car.

Naturally the two spend a lot of time together vounteering for Jordan Rossum, stuffing envelopes, canvassing, and putting up signs. Along their way they become good friends, and invested in the election as a House Bill banning head coverings, and antisemitic bumper stickers start getting plastered around town. The end of Ramadan, the election, the hate the two encounter, and families changing, bring Jamie and Maya together.

Maya’s parents are pretty chill about boys, and only caution her about unnecessary complications by dating in high school, when Maya throws it back on them, that their relationship is pretty complicated, she seems to not find an Islamic reason not to make-out with Jamie. The whole book is angsty and the two feign cluelessness, but based on the cover of the book alone you know where it is going. The true climax is how much the relationship can be used for political gain, and if they can get their candidate elected.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I like the political setting, it is a different and very relevant slant. It might be a little alienating to readers outside the United States, because the political process isn’t really detailed, but the characters involvement in their small slice is a major aspect of the book. The book is definitely pro Democrat, but addresses the gas lighting, hate speech, and views of those on both sides.

I also like that two minority authors came together to share an OWN voice perspective of life today. For the most part the story telling is smooth with the two characters getting alternating chapters to tell their story from their point of view. A few times, I felt details were missing, for example what Maya wore for Eid, when space was given to detail that she didn’t wear ethnic clothes to an iftar, and her picking a dress for Sophie’s bat mitzvah. Similarly, Maya’s parents seemed flat for their trial separation being a major part of Maya’s stress. Jamie’s grandma was probably my favorite side character, and one of the most fleshed out.

I am fully aware that some Muslims pick and chose what to follow and that not everyone is strict about boy/girl relations, but I felt like for a book that is set in Ramadan, uses religion as a catalyst for civic action, Maya’s mom wearing hijab, and an opening scene being set at the masjid, there is really nothing Islam in the defining aspects of the characters or story. It is so watered down and almost catering to non Muslims to feel comfortable, that it left me annoyed. And I think non Muslims too will wonder why Maya’s mom covers and Maya doesn’t and how that works, or why Maya switches to having one reason for not dating and then a religious one.

The book sets out to do a lot in terms of humanizing the effects of laws and policy on average people, but I don’t know that most Muslims hoping to see a mirror to their experience will find that in Maya. I can’t speak about Jamie, and the Jewish experience, but Maya is rather forgettable in my opinion.

FLAGS:

There is a lot of cursing, and the F word at that. In the dialogue set in Ramadan, it becomes a joke to substitute it for something else, but once the month is over, the language resumes. There is kissing, and making-out with the main characters. There is talk of hooking up, but nothing explicit. There are is a side character friend that is gay and he and his boyfriend are affectionate. After the bat mitzvah Sophie comes out to Jamie.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

I don’t think that I could do this as a middle school selection, the rationale for Jamie and Maya dating, isn’t ok for an Islamic School message. I really wish just once, a book like this would have the main character, being like, “nope, sorry.” It is getting predictable and while I know it is countering the oppressed woman view, it is becoming equally one dimensional in its presentation of Muslim women.