Tag Archives: cutting

Dec15

Hidden Fires by Sairish Hussain

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Hidden Fires by Sairish Hussain

I will not be getting over this book any time soon. It broke my heart, and all my other critical organs, in the most delightfully well-done way possible, and undoubtedly I am better for it. I don’t read a lot of adult fiction these days, and with some diabetic retinopathy concerns, I couldn’t read the 384 page adult book about generational trauma, partition, the Grenfell Tower fire, family dynamics, bullying, self-harm, and resilience, but was pulled in to the audio book version instead. The Desi-British voices of Yusuf, Rubi, and Hassan were refreshing to my American ears.  The multi-perspective book told in parts richly develops the characters, their relationships, and their current, past, and future struggles.  The author is Muslim, as are the characters, and while they all practice in their own way, it is undoubtedly who they are, and their Islamic identity is not questioned, feared, blamed, or apologized for.

SYNOPSIS:
The book weaves three distinct voices. Yusuf, is an 80 year old an immigrant who lived through partition, raised his family in the UK, has lost his wife a year prior, and is struggling with haunting memories of the past, failing health, regular loss of friends, and loneliness.  Hassan, Yusuf’s youngest son is a workaholic who is married to a non Muslim, non Desi who is suffering from fibromyalgia and who’s mother unexpectedly passes away in Spain.  Rubi, is Hassan’s 16 year old girl who is overweight, bullied, lonely and about to take her GCSE exams when she is dumped on her grandfather Yusuf’s door while her parents head to Spain.  The book opens in Ramadan the night of the Grenfell Tower fire and the horrific event affects them all, stirs memories, and shapes futures.  From there the layers of each character slowly unravel as they cope with the swiftly changing present as they desperately work to break free from the past.  As dementia plagues Yusuf, Rubi finds purpose in being needed, and Hassan is forced to re-prioritize his life before it is too late.

WHY I LIKE IT:
The book takes a slow approach to building up the characters and their back stories. It is almost feels like world building as a book would if it were a fantasy, it doesn’t info dump, but at some point the hooks are so deeply embedded that you really cannot leave the characters and their world and you have to finish the book, just to ensure they are ok.  Because I listened to the book, I feel like there might have been some Islamic content that was not completely ok, but again I was having vision issues and couldn’t note where to go back and check.  I think it is fine, and because it is an adult read, I think the audience can discern accuracy, but please know, I’m not 100% green lighting the Islamic rep.  It is undoubtedly well done and fasting and praying are a part of the characters, but their relationship to their faith and their understanding of it, is presented as theirs, it doesn’t get preachy or make broad statements about Muslims everywhere or Islamic doctrine.  

FLAGS:
There is body shaming, self-harm, trauma, death, torture, killing, lying, abuse, fear, guilt, dementia, bullying, assault, physical violence, drug use (mentioned), attempted suicide (mentioned), music, theft, make-up, close male and female relationships, Muslim marrying a non-Muslim, hallucinations.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:
I think mature high school seniors or possibly even juniors could benefit from this book with discussions.  I think Rubi’s voice tied to her father and grandfather, will really open up youngsters perspectives, and provide a great vehicle to hear their thoughts, fears, worries, concerns about body image, self harm, aging grandparents, accessibility to parents, etc..

Jun2

When a Brown Girl Flees By Aamna Qureshi

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When a Brown Girl Flees By Aamna Qureshi

when a brown girl flees

I was both nervous and excited to read this contemporary book having loved the author’s fantasy, but unsure how a Brown Muslim Pakistani American girl running away from home would be presented.  Alhumdulillah, the author approached the story from a place of love.  There is no internalized Islamophobia, self othering, or in broad strokes even an identity crisis. The protagonist has made decisions, drastic ones, and is trying to piece her life back together on her own terms, but the love of culture, family and faith, is always upheld.  It reads like Islamic fiction, with very didactic passages and moral positioning, I’m still quite surprised that it is traditionally published.  The version I read had grammar errors, so I’m hoping that they will be corrected when the book releases in a few weeks.  The story is engaging, but the writing a bit monotone.  Much of the story is telling, not showing, and because of the surface level spoon feeding of so much of the plot, when the catalyst or rationale is not provided, the book seems underdeveloped, or lacking, unfortunately.  I would not recommend this book for the target audience of YA readers (12/13 and up) it contains sex, slut shaming, self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts, physical and emotional abuse, profanity, and mentions drug use.  I do think though, early college age readers will enjoy and benefit from reading the book.  At a time in the reader’s life when they are defining themselves on their own terms, owning up to their own mistakes and laying out a future path, this book will provide relatability amplified by religious and cultural touchstones.  The heart of the story is the connection of a girl with Allah swt after she has sinned, the guilt and regret she feels, and how she finds herself, and returns to try and fix things with her family.  The characters are flawed and the overall messaging beautiful, hopeful and uplifting.  Unfortunately, it just reads like an early draft and I wish it had a bit more refinement.  Keeping that in mind though, it does have a place, and I’m glad to see our “new adults”  can find reflections of  themselves in a piece of literature that amplifies their Islamic identity instead of criticizing or questioning it.

SYNOPSIS:

The book starts with Zahra deciding to run away from home.  She parks her car, leaves her phone and catches a flight to New York from California.  The reader doesn’t exactly know why she is running, only that a few days after high school graduation she is escaping a toxic home life, an impending wedding, and misery.  As the story peels back layers we start to see some of the nuance of what she is running from as characters from her past find her and physical space allows her some perspective to see her own role in her “old” life.  When she arrives in New York, it isn’t the city life that she seeks, but rather the nature and pace of Long Island that offers her a fresh start.  She heads to the masjid, makes a friend, and starts to put her life together without parental obligation, outside interference, and self loathing.  She cannot run forever though and she cannot escape herself.  She must confront her past, own her mistakes, be honest with her new friends, and find peace with her family, not because she has to as a Brown daughter of immigrants, but because she trusts Allah, loves her family, and wants to “fix” things.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I’m a sucker for books that show redemption through the love and mercy of Allah (swt).  Yeah her new friends were idyllic in their family life, relationships and worship, but we all want friends that make us better Muslims, so I let it slide. Islam is centered, she wears hijab, she reconnects with salat, it is her identity even when she is just going through the motions. The author at times conflated culture and faith, but it never issues blanket statements or falls into universal stereotypes for Desi culture or Muslims.  She does a good job of keeping the negatives to the people and the critiques to the failure to push back on dangerous expectations. My issues weren’t the character flaws either, I’m onboard with the messiness of being human and the ability to seek and receive forgiveness from our creator.  I just wanted to feel things more.  So much was just told when it should have been shown.  I wanted to see the stress and anguish of her family life, not simply told it was depressing.  I wanted to see her cutting life long friends out and being isolated, not told she had lost her friends.  The book focuses on her running, and why she ran, but a big plot point for why she ran, having sex, needed more fleshing out.  Why was she driven to such an act? I know that she was depressed, I’m not belittling that, but what pushed her to such a strong stance, when she was already allowed on the school trip, she hadn’t yet been given the ultimatum and over and over the book says “I miss my family,”” I miss my home,” “I miss my mom.”  I didn’t feel the connection or understand what she was feeling, thinking, and it seemed like a huge hole in the book.  For all the themes of mental illness, faith, generational trauma, misogyny, abuse, expectation, depression, lying, culture, life choices, higher education, family dynamics, self harm. the book never quite felt rich with emotion or deeper than the surface level story.  At the beginning the author says she first wrote the book when she was a senior in high school, and while that may have made the main character’s perspective and voice ring true, as a successful author now, I wish she would have added the nuance, the insight, the subtlety that would have drawn the reader in and allowed them to get inside Zahra’s head and heart to see her and perhaps even themselves.

FLAGS:

The author and book identify triggers in the book “please be mindful of TWs: depression, anxiety, emotional abuse, physical abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation, slut-shaming, PTS.”

There is also music, boys and girls alone in cars together, lying, cursing, generational trauma, misogyny, abuse, expectation, depression, anxiety, guilt, life choices, higher education, family dynamics, cutting, a brother who is often high or smells like weed/pot, it mentions partying, a sexual event, deceit, physically assaulted by a parent.  Nothing haram is glorified, but it is there and it is detailed, and not everything is resolved.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

I would not be able to shelve or teach this book in an Islamic school library, but in a college MSA book club or a youth group of a similar age this book would be incredible to read and discuss.

Oct1

Show Yourself by Adeeba Jafri

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Show Yourself by Adeeba Jafri

show yourself

At 98 pages the book claims to be two YA mental health novellas that bring attention to mental health in a relatable and contemporary audience through Muslim characters.  As someone with some experience in loving individuals going through some of the issues addressed in the book, I was thrilled that voices were making it on to the page and in a capacity to increase discussion about self-harm.  Unfortunately, the presentation of the two short stories baffled me and I don’t think the book will find its way in to many YA reader’s hands.  I don’t know why it is two novellas when the characters are the same and it very easily could, and should, have been fleshed out into a single longer novel.  I think it would have shown a better well-rounded understanding on the importance of knowing and recognizing signs of someone struggling with their mental health, how coping skills aren’t often enough and outside help is needed, how assumptions and stereotypes further alienate those suffering, and just overall made the characters deeper and more relatable.  Instead we get two isolated snapshots that subtly try to discuss mental health, but use a very immature cover story that misses the target audience.  The book as is, is better suited for middle school readers, but I think even they would get a limited view of how to help those close to them, or reach out themselves if they are hurting.  It needs to be five short stories with different characters and a unifying theme, or one complete novel.  Unfortunately, as much as I wanted to share this book with my teen daughter so we could discuss, I couldn’t convince her to read it, which is unfortunate, because the author can write, it just isn’t tempting presented as it is.

SYNOPSIS:

The book is two novellas, the first focuses on three female Muslim friends and one’s little sister.  The girls all go to school together, but are of different economic statuses, have different interests but support one an other, and have different family dynamics, that all come in to play.  The close knit community means the parents are social with each other as well, and one parent or another is always picking or dropping them off at each other’s homes.  When Hana gets a new phone, Aliya is clearly jealous, Lena tries to brush it off and keep the peace, but, when Hana’s phone goes missing, even she has to admit that “rebel” Aliya is looking guilty. As the girls search for the phone, Lena spends time with her family, goes to her brother’s robotics tournament and finally confronts Aliya.  Aliya’s mom has disappeared earlier, and with her purple dipped hair, sudden influx of funds for Ubers and new accessories, the girls fight and Aliya pulls away.  When Aliya and her dad don’t attend Hana’s younger sister, Sara’s ice skating performance, it seems the friendships are irreconcilable.  Aliya, however, shows up to the after party things are revealed and amends are made.

The second novella is the story of what happened with Aliya’s parents, particularly her mother.  Similar to Sara, Aliya’s mother was harming herself and eventually abandoned her family.

WHY I LIKE IT:

I like that it shows Muslims suffering, coping, and dealing with mental health issues.  The topic is way too taboo and it effects all swaths of the human population, we need to normalize discussions about it.  I wish the novellas would have stressed getting professional help more, sure it is great that Hana is going to try and put her phone down and pay attention to her younger sister, but that is not always enough.  Aliya mentions that after her mom left her and her dad went to therapy, but the mom claimed to leave to get help and then never came back.  I think there needs to be A LOT more emphasis on what “good” help looks like and what it can do to change lives.

The book is self published it seems through a publisher, so hopefully the author could ramp up the story telling, character building, and messaging, to really make the book shine.  I don’t understand the title, I don’t know why it is under a hundred pages.  I don’t know who the forward is written by.  If you want to write a book about mental health you really need to have done a lot of research, not just necessarily your own experience, and you probably should have a bunch of letters after your name.  Otherwise just write a work of fiction and touch on some of the issues that you want to support discussions about.  The book seems to straddle committing to one or the other, and ultimately it falters because of it.

I do like that the characters are Muslim, the book is not preachy, some seem to be more religious then others, but it isn’t really part of the story.  The characters’ culture and nationalities seem to be left intentionally vague.  It mentions gossip from the ladies at the masjid, which I think should have been drawn out more.  Really if you ask me, this is a great rough draft, it needs fleshing out is all, build it up to 250 pages and set out to reach middle school readers instead, and it will resonate and have the effect I think the author is hoping for.

FLAGS:

Self harm, abandonment, assumptions about a man Aliya seems to be sharing a meal with in a photograph, gossip, lying.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

Because it doesn’t seem to stress how to help and what help is out there, I don’t know that the book would be a great read for all.  I think if you are looking to open a discussion with a small group of readers or individually, you may be able to assign the book and discuss in a safe environment.